Mr. Perfect

I am Mr. Perfect...

At least according to my co-workers. It's hard to live up to that standard, but I do my best. At least once or twice a week, I receive the sigh, the rolling of the eyes, and the line that "everybody makes mistakes...except you".

Why? Because I expect things to be done correctly the first time? Because I expect people to make sure that all I's are dotted and all T's are crossed before submitting papers? Because I actually expect people to remember something that I have already told them, not once, but several times before? Are all of these requirements too much to ask of supposedly responsible adults that shouldn't have to have their hands held or the corners of their mouths wiped after snack time?

Well, I'm here to tell you that I'm not perfect. I do, indeed, make mistakes. However, when I do make a mistake, I try extremely hard to remember the lesson and to learn to never repeat that same mistake. After all, isn't that part of growing up and becoming a mature adult?

So...


If those habits do, indeed, make one perfect, just call me...

Mr. Perfect Extraordinaire

Questions

One of my pet peeves is when people won't let me finish with an answer or an explanation before they start asking me questions. If they would just let me complete my thoughts, their questions may be answered before they even realize it. All they would have to do is pay attention.

Case in point is this conversation from work yesterday. A man from Alabama had called in requesting availability and pricing for three different parts. I garnered the information for him and called him back only to find that he was out of the store at the time. I was then forced to leave the information with the man that answered the phone. Here's a paraphrase of the following conversation...

Me: "OK. Here is the information that he requested."

Man: "OK."

Me: "The first two parts (here I actually supplied him with the part numbers) are available in Pennsylvania and cost $9.19 each. The..."

Man: "What was the first part number?"

Me. I repeated the number.

Man: "And they were how much?"

Me: "$9.19. The third number..."

Man: "The first two are the same price?"

Me: "Yes. The third number is $18.71 and is also in Pennsylvania"

Man: "All three are in Pennsylvania?"

By this time, I wanted to reach through the phone and give him a genuine backhand across both sides. He was a infuriatingly frustrating man. And to top off this lovely conversation, I receive a call from the original man 2 hours later. He was upset because no one had called him back with his information. I minced no words and told him in no uncertain terms that I had left the message over and hour and a half ago with "Joe". He quickly got off the phone.

When you are listening to someone speak, actually listen to them and don't try to interrupt with questions until the speaker is finished. Not only is that common courtesy, but one will be surprised to find that many of those questions would have already been answered

Teaching How to Fish

I try to live my life by the old Chinese proverb

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime.

At first glance, most people automatically think about the destitute and starving and how that can be a way to help their fellow man. But I apply it in more ways than just feeding the hungry. In fact, I use it for everything in life.

Most people nowadays want everything spoon-fed to them, handed to them on a silver platter, and coming completely assembled. According to them, they don't know where to look, don't know how to do it, have no idea where to look, or a myriad of other excuses for not doing something themselves. When I encounter such attitudes (which is frequently), I try to show them how to figure out their problem or how to search for the answer. I don't just hand the answer over easily. No one would ever learn if he or she is always given the answer straight out.

Not all people are fond of this method, but it doesn't bother me. I can see the look in their eyes or hear the tone in their voices when I refuse to satisfy their craving for an easy answer. But the attitudes don't affect me at all. I just keep right on teaching them. Some are thankful; others grumble and keep asking the same questions instead of taking advantage of the opportunity to learn.

The learners will grow from the learning and will then be able to disseminate their new-found knowledge to someone else.

The grumblers will stagnate in their own ignorance and will be reduced to nothing more than ignorant knowledge-beggars that suck the life of all those around them.

In the end, they are only hurting themselves.

Expecting

I have high expectations for people. It was how I was reared. If you lower your expectations, people will meet them with gusto and you will be surrounded with mediocrity or, worse, downright stupidity. People should rise to the challenge of each others reasonable expectations and not settle for the quagmire of "middleness" that permeates our society.

My manager is constantly telling me that I am "expecting" again and that I shouldn't expect anything from people other than what I get from them, which is not much. I counter with the above argument while he cackles at my facial expressions, flailing arm movements, and commentary outbursts about how people are not rising to the challenge.

Is it too much to expect people to...

use the gray matter between their ears?

act courteously and without demands even when life isn't going as they planned or wanted?

listen the first time and not repeat the same question over and over and over again?

not act like a 2-year old pitching a fit on the floor and sounding like two toms fighting over a potential mate when told something they don't like?

actually pay attention to what they are doing and therefore eliminate the need to do things over again?

think about their actions and the potential consequences before implementing some asinine plan or procedure?

The answers to the above questions are not out of the realm of possibility. It only takes some forethought and concern for those around you.

Am I doomed to be repeatedly disappointed?

Unfortunately, I think I am...

Cock-a-doodle-doo

Onomatopoeic words are words that mimic a sound made by something such as an animal call or a door slam. It's funny to me how certain onomatopoeic words for the exact same sound differ in other languages. We all hear the same sound, but the conditioning from our native language sounds causes us to render differently from one another.

Take for instance, the very common rendering of the well-known rooster call. In English, it's cock-a-doodle-doo. Now take a look at the same sound in several other language samples taken from many different language families...

Spanish: quiquiriquí or cocoricó
French: cocorico
Italian: chicchirichi
Norwegian: kykkeliky
Dutch: kukeleku
German: kikeriki
Russian: koo-ka-re-koo
Polish: kukuryku
Nepali: frootti tootti tu
Hindi: ku-kudu-koo
Hungarian: kukurikú
Estonian: kikerikii
Basque: kukurruku
Korean: gugugugu
Japanese: kokekokko
Mandarin: o o o
Thai: aek ee aek aek
Sinhalese: fuku fuk fu
Tamil: kokkara-ko-ko
Indonesian: kukuruyuk
Tagalog: tiktilaok
Turkish: ü-ürü-üüü
Hebrew: kúkuríku
Arabic: kuku-kookoo

Now, one can see the similarities between closely related languages, but when you look at others, you wonder if they are hearing the same sound as you! Language is funny that way!

I will leave you with a few more examples of this strange reality. See if you can "hear" how the other languages came to their own word.

Balloon bursting
Arabic: boof
German: peng
Hindi: thaa
Hungarian: pukk
Indonesian: dor
Korean: bbang
Navajo: dǫǫn
Spanish: pop
Thai: poh
Turkish: bom

Camera shutter
Bulgarian: shtrak
Danish: klik
French: clic
Indonesian: klik
Korean: chalkak
Russian: shcholk
Swedish: klick
Thai: chaeh
Turkish: şlak
Vietnamese: cách cách

Car horn
Czech: tu tu
Dutch: toet toet
German: tut
Hebrew: bip bip
Indonesian: din din
Korean: bbang bbang
Lithuanian: pyp pyp
Spanish: pi pi
Tagalog: peep peep
Thai: pin pin

Cry of pain
Czech: au
French: aïe
German: au
Hebrew: akh
Indonesian: aduh
Japanese: itai
Navajo: ayá
Nepali: bzzt
Portuguese: ai
Russian: oj

Cow lowing
Arabic: moo
Mandarin: mou
Czech: buu
Dutch: boe
Italian: mu
Japanese: mo mo
Korean: eum mae
Tagalog: unga
Tibetan: drip drip dröep
Vietnamese: ò ò

Kiss
Arabic: mwa
Czech: muck
Danish: smæk
Estonian: mopsti
Japanese: chuu
Korean: jjohk
Malayalam: umma
Russian: chmok
Thai: joop
Vietnamese: chut

Pig call
Czech: kvík kvík
Finnish: röh röh
French: groin groin
German: grunz grunz
Indonesian: grok grok
Korean: ggul ggul
Lithuanian: kvy kvy
Portuguese: ronc ronc
Tagalog: ngok ngok
Thai: ud ud

Sneeze
Bengali: hach-chu
Catalan: atxum
Cantonese: hat-chi
Mandarin: ah-ti
Dutch: hatsjoe
Hebrew: apchi
Japanese: hakushon
Romanian: hapciu
Tagalog: atsing
Thai: hud-chei

Seeds

This time of the year is always exciting for me. We are now just starting to get the first fruits of all the preparing of soil and planting of seeds and plants. I am always amazed at how much plant comes from such a small seed. Little by little, bit by bit, cell by cell, a beautiful, productive green plant emerges from the small capsule and is soon bearing ripe, juicy edibles for us to enjoy.

Isn't that how we should be?

John 12:24 says that "except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit."

We are like a corn (seed or grain). When we are unsaved, we are like seeds in a bag in a dark corner. We are shriveled, useless, and will eventually rot. Once we become saved, it's like we have been lifted out of the dark, dank bag and brought into the light. But the journey doesn't end there. Once the Master Gardener has us in His hands, He plants us in His thoroughly prepared and cultivated garden. Once in the good soil, it is up to us to do our intended job. The first step must be dying to self. Just as a seed must break apart the testa and die as a seed when the moisture and temperature are at the correct levels, we must break apart our own sinful covering of selfish will and desires under the loving conditions from our Father.

Next is the growing phase. By continuing to read and study God's Word, pray, and follow His commandments, our radicle becomes firmly grounded in Him and our plumule breaks out of the fertile ground into the Light of God's continued Presence. As we continue to grow and develop, we become a beautiful plant and will bear fruit for our Gardner to use in whatever way He sees fit.

Will you die as a seed and become a fruitful vine or bush? Or will you stay in the bag in the corner? Or will you just stay as you are in the ground and never grow?

The choice is yours.

Don't Assume

1) Don't assume that I am color blind just because I can't tell the difference between beige and taupe or coral and scarlet. Do I really need a celery shirt??

2) Don't assume that I can use a hand tool well just because I have testosterone flowing in my veins. You just might get hurt and hurt badly!

3) Don't assume that I like to watch or discuss the latest NASCAR race just because I work in the auto parts industry. I do not!

4) Don't assume that I will eat and be happy about eating JELLO cheesecake. No way, no how.

5) Don't assume that just because I am a lover of all varieties of music that I want to hear your boom-boom da da da while sitting at a stoplight. My car vibrates enough on its own.

6) Don't assume that I will beg for your help when I am as busy as a one-armed paper-hanger while you sit there feeling your butt expand. I'm not a martyr, but I won't beg you either.

7) Don't assume that I will always have patience for your shenanigans or delays.

8) Don't assume that I want to hear all about your illnesses, infections, and body aches and pains. Take a pill and be quiet, please.

9) Don't assume that I want you to call me by my first name if I don't know you. If I don't give you permission in some way, don't use it.

Do you have a "Don't Assume" list? I am not assuming that you do!