Stupid Fee

I have decided that it is time for me to start charging a Stupid Fee. Anytime someone does something stupid, it will be added to their tab. I know that some of them will rack up the fees at a pretty good clip. Everyday, I run into the same old stupidity from people that are supposed to be intelligent, sophisticated, modern-era people. What is happening out there that is causing this lack of smarts to be as rampant as the Swine Flu? Several examples from today congealed in my mind that it was time for the application of this fee.

First off is the continuing reaction to the above mentioned Swine Flu. I read that Egypt has ordered the slaughter of all of the pigs in that country to prevent the spread of the disease even though there are no confirmed cases of it in the whole country! The disease is spread from human to human, not from pig to human. Sometime in the recent past, the virus mutated and was able to infect a human. It's still porcine in origin, but it's now a human disease. I personally think that there is a lot of over reaction to this disease. I am by no means discounting the severity of the disease as attested by the many deaths in Mexico, but the fact remains that there is a lot of hype in these types of circumstances and Egypt needs to be charged with the new Stupid Fee.

Secondly, today was a really bad day for stupid drivers. If I had my ticket book already printed, I would have been handing them out left and right. How about the one that was halfway parallel parked on Blount Street at Moore Square? Or just a few feet away, the guy with the passenger door open into the oncoming traffic during rush hour? Or the two Dodge pickups parallel driving down Highway 70 at a speed of about 1 mph while having a conversation ?

Lastly, today had to have been National Stupid Question Day at work. I am convinced it must have been written on someone's calender because the I-D-10-Ts were out in full force. One guy wanted to have a computer flashed at the place that only rebuilds them. Another guy didn't have the sense to look in all his spark plug catalogs to find the one for a Kubota tractor. And still another thought that the DC should pay for the express shipping for a part that did not meet the minimum order total from a particular supplier. Sometimes I feel like the Pied Piper trying to lead the Three Blind Mice out of Hamelin.

So today's blog is a fair warning. If you do or say something stupid and I hear about it, you will most assuredly be slapped with a hefty Stupid Fee. Don't argue with the fact. Just learn from it and next time think before you speak or act.

And as always, prompt payment is appreciated and expected!